We all have things we want to accomplish in life. We might want to go on an African safari, become millionaires before our 40th birthday, or own our own businesses.
Then there are our secret goals that we don’t share with others, the ones locked up in the confines of our own minds. Your quiet coworker may dream of starring in a Broadway show. Or the truck driver you pass on the highway may long to open a bakery. Or the parking cop might secretly want to model eveningwear.
I also have a fantasy that’s been on my bucket list for a while now.
I long to be a hermit.
What is a hermit?
her mit n. A person who has withdrawn from society and lives a solitary existence; a recluse.
While driving through the mountains of Colombia, or on the long stretches of country roads in New Zealand, I often fantasized about getting off the bus with my backpack, walking a few miles into the unknown, and staying there.
I think about those faraway, isolated places with lust. I have longed to set up shop in a wood cabin with just books, music, and a few pets to keep me company. There would be no email addiction, no concern about what to wear in the morning, and no exchange of mind-numbing pleasantries with strangers and acquaintances.
It would just be me, the land, the universe, and a vastness of mental space not known to many.
It would be pure bliss.
Language… has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone. ~Paul Johannes Tillich
I don’t travel alone because I can’t find anyone to go with. I travel alone because I love the solitude. I love not having to talk about nothing to fill up the space.
I enjoy spending time with others, of course, and having deep conversations about matters of substance. But I can’t be around anyone for too long. After a large social gathering, I need a couple days to recuperate – by myself.
In fact, sometimes I can’t be alone enough.
I feel like there is something bigger and better to be connected to that just isn’t possible in the presence of so many distractions. I feel like if I ever did settle down in one place, I might drown in the inevitable inane conversations I would be forced into day after day. I feel like the only way that I could ever find peace is to spend a significant part of my life in solitude.
But for now, it will remain a fantasy. I’m not quite ready to detach from the world completely… yet.
What about you – what’s your secret fantasy?